Get Your Ex Back ? Online Dating Advice, Online Dating Tips ...

Okay this is a touchy subject.? Mainly because there is no conceivable reason that anyone in the seduction/dating/relationship world can know the specific reasons you broke up with your ex.? It?s an impossibility because there is no one magic reason he or she left you.? More than likely it is an extremely complex issue that deals with not only things you?ve done and he/she have done but more importantly who you and your ex are as people.? Wow?apologize for the run on sentence.? But it?s true.? There is no one factor for why you and your ex broke up.? However there are a few strategies that you can employ to get your ex back.

Strategy 1: Time

Time is the best cure for getting your ex back.? This is a passive strategy that works extremely well.? For reasons beyond our control exes are affected by immediate reactions to events in the present.? However, there is an old saying ?time cures all.?? It?s hard to forget how much of an ass you were to her/him last Saturday night but it?s much harder to remember the argument you had with someone 2 years ago.? My point being is that most break up causing issues are forgettable with time.? This doesn?t cure the issue.? Which you will need to address if you want to get your ex back and have them stay with you indefinitely.? This does mean that you have to put in the leg work to fix whatever underlying issues you two had in your relationship.? For example: most men have a fear of commitment.? The truth is that men don?t fear commitment but instead we fear we?ll make the wrong choice and be stuck with that choice indefinitely.? Unfortunately for women this leads to less engagements overall and more men stringing them along without a commitment.? But this can be combated by strengthening the core values you?ve built with your loved one in your relationship.? Thereby making your current bf/gf invested in your time and life together.? But getting back to time.? I know all of us have share this common experience:

• You feel hurt by the break up, wish you were back together, as time goes on it doesn?t hurt so bad then with even more time you forget about missing that person then BAM! They send you a late night (more then likely booze soaked) text saying ?Hey what are you doing??? Swingers really hit this message home for me.

The big takeaway from this video is however the next strategy.

Strategy 2: Do Nothing

I know this also sounds counter productive but Swingers is again correct, you can?t do anything to make a woman/man love you again. You can only do things to push them further away from you. This is so incredibly true.? I know from experience.? Think about it from the other side.? Imagine you broke up with someone for some reason.? Is there anyway that person, after failing your multiple chances you gave them to change, could convince you to get back together with them?? I doubt it.? So there?s the rub.? You are going to need to stop focusing on the person you lost because you will never convince them back into a relationship.? It doesn?t work like that.? You can?t lawyer your way into a successful relationship.? Even if you get your ex back, it will likely be temporary as your underlying issues will still exist.? This brings us to the most important strategy.

Strategy 3: Better Yourself

Everyone should try to better themselves constantly.? I personally feel that everyone in the world should attempt (constantly) to be the best person they can be.? You are in charge of your successes and failures.? No one in this world can be attributed to your gains or failures.? Sure some people may help along the way but you earn everything on your own sweat equity.? For example:? Let?s suggest that your issue is that you want to go out all of the time and she wants to stay home all of the time.? This is a pretty classic example that comes up a lot.? You need to create a happy medium.? Some common ground that both of you agree upon.? This doesn?t mean you should change who you are and what you want to be but it does suggest that compromise but to a greater degree discussion and open communication are the paramount cores to a good solid relationship.? This brings us to another strategy to get your ex back.

Strategy 4: Change or Strengthen

You need to decide if the life you are currently living is one that needs to change or be strengthened.? You are at a cross roads in your ex relationship but also one in your thought process and core beliefs.? You need to decide if the issues in your old relationship will negatively impact your well being in general or was it an issue of just that particular man/woman?? Let?s decipher a four examples.

1. You have a drinking problem that made your ex not like you when you were drunk.? This is obviously a personal issue that you need to overcome before any successful relationship can be had.
2. You don?t want children.? Well this is a non negotiable with a woman who wants to have a family so you will always lose if you match yourself up with one.? However, this example is unique because this thought can change at any time.? A lot of men go into relationships not wanting kids but change when they have confidence in themselves that they will be good fathers.? Especially when this is supported by a strong woman whom would make an ideal mother.
3. You highly value your specific religion.? Here is another non negotiable standard that you may set.? Specifically if you want to marry or be in a relationship with someone whom shares the same beliefs, attitudes and religion as you.? Also, this can be an issue at time of marriage because you need to decide venues for the consummation proceedings.
4. ?You want more spontaneity.? This is a big issue for a lot of relationships.? Usually one person is demanding spontaneity while the other rejects it. The real truth is every loves variety.? Think about how many music types, food flavors and ethnic cultures exist.? These unique and different things are fantastic and help illustrate the country as a whole?s excellent qualities but how does this apply to relationships.? Most people would get bored if they had to eat one flavor of ice cream forever.? Blah.? It?s the same thing in relationships.? People need to experience new things.? The important aspect to focus on is new experiences together.? You can tell that people are straying when they don?t spend a lot of time together but instead focus on new found hobbies or groups they attend.

Step 5: Illustrate Change

You need to decide whether changing is for you or not depending on your goals but if you?re trying to get your ex back you may want to illustrate the positive changes you?ve made in your life.? Let?s say you were unemployed and that was a stressor on your relationship.? By telling your ex you now have a job, you?ve ?fixed? a big issues you two were having.? Women and men need to see that you are actively seeking a difference in your life.? They don?t want to hear the things they want but instead see them.? ?Seeing is believing? or as better put by Missouri?s state motto the ?Show me state.? How the ex you want that you are actively bettering yourself.

Well?I hope all of these suggestions help. The big one to remember is time.? You really can?t control a lot of what?s going on in your exes head but if you want to get your ex back you should really give them time.? Eventually, they will reach out to you.? It happens in almost all relationships as long as you didn?t end the relationship on really horrible terms.? Almost all women, are willing to give second chances.? More so then men.? Men typically will only use exes for sex.? Sad but true.? Take care.? Continue being the better you.? Any other specific questions please post below or e-mail me at kirk@onlinedatingdvd.com.

-Kirk

Source: http://www.onlinedatingdvd.com/blog/2012/02/get-your-ex-back/

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